Obedient dog
I have things I want to do. Things I want to do right now. I don’t have time now to pray, because I want to do the things that have taken my mind captive. But I know if I don’t take time to pray and read scripture, those things will take over and eventually disappoint me because they are really very meaningless. So, dutifully, I take some time out and attempt to quiet myself and talk with God.
“Dear Lord, thank you for uh,
‘do the thing instead’,
no, forgive me for letting my mind stray. Thank you Lord for my children,
‘the thing can’t wait, times a-wasting’.
Excuse me, for my children, for my husband, for
‘the thing that is so enticing and fun to do’.
Forgive me for letting my mind go astray again.
‘You know, you could do this extra thing to the thing, and then you could’...
Stop thinking that. Sorry, let’s start again.”
Fifteen minutes later, all I have done is fight with my mind. I’m exhausted and discouraged and feel unfit to live.
But let me evaluate this episode that reruns most every day. I will compare myself to a golden retriever. If the dog is not well trained and he sees a treat in my hand, he will not sit still when I tell him to, but will lunge after the treat. Disappointed in him, I will scold him because he has not obeyed.
But if the dog is well trained, he may want the treat badly and will eye it and wag his tail in desperation, but because he is well trained, he will not go after the treat but will watch me intently until I give him the signal that he can have it.
Only then will he put it in his mouth. I know his mind was on that treat, but I am pleased that he obeyed me, and I reward him for his obedience.
I am like that dog. I may want to do the thing, but I will, with determination, do what is important first. I may desperately eye the thing, I may see the thing bigger than life, but my will does not allow me to throw aside my devotion time with God in exchange for doing the thing.
So if my prayer time has not been as focused as I would like, I can still rejoice that I kept my will in check even when my flesh fought me the whole time. In that effort I believe God will be pleased with me.
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